How big is a Ferret Step?

Hi Woofers!

It's us again, Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

It's getting all exciting here as the holiday draws closer. Monty has been looking for his swimming costume and Eric has been checking his climbing gear 'cos he plans to do some Munro Bashing when we stop in Fort William!

Old Two Legs has been getting his toys together as well, first the camera stuff and next his 'Bird Watching' stuff like binoculars and telescope!

We reckon there will be loads of birds on the loch so OTL wants to get some pictures and see if he can spot any new birds!

This morning Holly woke us up early by woofing to get onto the bed, I mean, it's not as if it was difficult jumping up on the bed, all she had to do was miss landing on me!

Once up on the bed she headed for OTL's newly shaved head and gave his head a seriously good licking 'cos Holly says that there was a funny 'Taste' after OTL has a haircut!

Down on the beach the sun was up and poking through the clouds, the sunbeams looked quite pretty!

Now, that looks pretty!

 Eric was in the ferret bag catching up on his sleep and of course he was asking if we were 'There Yet'!

.......are we?

 As we turned to head for home, who should come bounding along the Sea Wall?

It was Bert!

Holly didn't see him until the last moment and made her jump!

Gissa anuver kiss?

 Eric was out of the bag and half way up the grass path searching for Sock Monsters but all he could find was mousses poo!

How many feet does a Sock Monster have?

 OTL had a bit of 'Manufacturing to do this morning, it's always the same every year, there is always the customer who leaves ordering until the very last minute!

Both Miss Wendy and Monty came out at lunchtime. The sun had come out and the grass was good and dry so no one got a wet tummy today!

I am going to write to the local Parish Council about getting some ferret sized steps!

Holly was sitting on the Sea Wall trying to calculate the size of a ferret step based only on her observations of leg length and the jumping capability of a ferret in reasonable health!

Well, I can start off with E = M C squared, then take away the first number, followed by the leg length and.......

By the time we got up to her she was only half way through the calculation when OTL called her and she forgot where she had got up to!

I suppose that she will be playing on the calculator tonight to finish her design for a ferret sized step!

Me? I reckon it would be easier if OTL picked the ferrets up whenever they got to the step!

See you tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

Old Two Legs is also Old Baldy!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here again!

I don't know what it has been for you today but we haven't seen any sun, nor have we had a dry walk all day!

Today it has been a 'Soggy Day'!

I mean, when I got to the Sea Wall I could see my self in the reflection!

Hello Woofer, wot's your name?

We were glad when we got back home, a quick rub down with a Doggy Towel and a bowl of chicken soon made everything better!

We were lucky that lunchtime the rain slowed down and we didn't get so wet! Both Wendy and Monty stayed tucked up in Old Two Legs arms until we got down to the beach.

Wendy had a great time digging at the weeds that have grown out of the cracks, she says that Nargles hide under stuff like this!

They are here, I just know they are here!

One of the good things about going out with Wendy and Monty is that they don't hang about like wot we have to do with Eric!

Hurry up, he's behind us already!

 Once back home OTL decided that he should have a hair cut before our holiday so he sat himself down with a mirror and the shaver and went zoom all over his head and around his chops!

I must say, he does look a little less 'Ragged' and getting rid of most of the grey hair makes it a little kinder on the eye!

His beard is now shaved right down to the skin while his hair feels like a bit of sandpaper!

As he says when he cuts our hair, 'If you don't like it, wait, it will grow again!'

This evening we are expecting him to get together the photographic gear he wants to take on holiday, including a tripod! That means he will be doing some night time shots or a load of 'Selfies'!

Now, we just love the idea of a Sock Monster, is it bigger than a Nargle? Does it wear the socks and just how many feet does it have to be able to wear all those missing socks!

Next you will be telling me there is a Verruca Gnome as well!

See you all tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

Out comes the Holiday stuff!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret back again!

Well, it's been another busy day here on the North Kent Coast!

It started this morning when Old Two Legs started hunting around for his socks that match. Then he put them all together and starts counting, but not in the normal one, two three.

Instead he went Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.......Bum Holes where are the rest?

The answer to that is one of the great mysteries of this world, why does he always end up with a drawer full of 'One Socks'?

It's a good job his pants are in one piece!

We were down on the beach but just missed the sun creeping over the horizon.

Well, the colours are OK!

I bet that Mike and Sue have better success with the sun set down in Newquay, well they don't have to get up early like wot we do!

Mind you, we are not the only ones up at silly times!

Hello Cody!

Cody is a Dopey Dog who loves OTL but has a memory problem, like he doesn't always recognise OTL unless he sees OTL get out of the car!

Eric de Ferret has got this morning walking sorted. He jumps into the Ferret Bag and snuggles down until we get close to the beach, then he sticks his head up and tells OTL he wants to get out!

Aha! We are here, come on, put me down, I can sniff Nargles!

Of course, as soon as he hits the ground all the Nargles disappear into the grass and are never seen again!

Mind you, in the early morning sun his colour looks rather smart!

Do I look swish or wot?

Back home OTL cleaned the cages while the ferrets had a great time rampaging! By the time he finished it was time he headed off to the dentist, for the last bit of treatment.

Unfortunately, the dentist hadn't got all of the root out so he got stabbed and with a longer drill, the rest of the root was dug out. OTL is not very brave as far as dentist goes and reckons that the hole in his tooth root was so deep it made a hole in the sole of his boot!

Still, it finally came to the point when the dentist says to him, 'Rinse' and gave him a cup of mouth wash. OTL says that because his lips were all numb, all he could do was slurp a mouthful, swill it around and spit it into portable rubber cup. But being numb, he couldn't control the spit and the mouthwash sort of gets sprayed  sideways and down the front of his shirt!

Wot a mucky puppy!

When he got back the next job was to get the 'Holiday Cages' out of the shed and equip them with beds and food bowls and drinking holders, minus the water and food of course, that goes in on the morning we leave!

Well, we have now finished, well for today anyway. There is more to do tomorrow, like find all those other socks!

ye for now!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

Getting Ready for the Highlands!

Hello Woofers!

It's Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret back again.

Hey now, did you read yesterday about Archie Babe and the pickled onion?

Now we know he is a bit of a guts as far as food is concerned. We well remember him staying with us for a day and nearly clearing us out of Nosh and Home!

But, A Pickled Onion?

I mean, didn't he even sniff it first? I mean they must be the most foul sniffing or tasting thing next to a Nargels Poo!

We would have thrown it back up before it reached our tummy!

The only redeeming feature is the fact the vet didn't charge for the inspection and consultation!

Down here they would have robbed Old Two Legs till his wallet had a heart attack!

This morning the sun was up but we managed to grab a shot which OTL reckons shows up the reflections on the mud.

Mud reflecting?

Reflecting or reflective mud?

Eric de Ferret came out with us 'cos Miss May was still asleep, tucked up inside a super warm blanket!

Mind you, that ferret bag is just right when the frost is around or the winter wind is blowing!

Wake me when we get there!

Eric had some fun pretending that he could sniff Nargles in the weeds, mind you, we didn't see any or even got a sniff!

It's not a weasel, so it must be a Nargle!

Back home OTL spent some time in and around the caravan. Holly came out with him and helped him check all the cupboards and drawers for any scoff left behind.

We couldn't find anything wrong and The Missus had already been out checking the hot water and the heating was working 'cos we reckon that it may just be a little chilly where we are going, being on the West Highland coast and all!

After that was all done we headed off to the Sea Shore and I was pleased to see the tide was in. I wasn't too pleased when OTL put the lead on me, just to stop me from diving into the water for a splash about!

The ferrets got out of the bag and were having a sniff looking for Nargles and other beasties!

I could do with some ferret sized steps here!

While the ferrets were having a sniff Holly sat on the sea wall waiting for everyone to catch up with her!

No, I will NOT be having a dip while I am waiting, thank you very much!

Young Monty thinks that Holly Chops is wonderful and is always following her around sniffing the sniffs she finds. Unlike Eric who just seems to want to pick a fight with us! One day Holly will bite his tail when he nips her back leg!

He won't sit down for a week!

Can I have a sniff Holly, after you of course!

Holly doesn't mind Monty and Wendy walking beside her but gets very wary when Eric chases her!

We got chicken waiting for us tonight, so just for once, we got some good scoff, mind you, there are no pickled onions in the bowl!

See you all tomorrow.

Just remembered, OTL has the dentist tomorrow, the final bit of drilling and poking about, so, he should be ready for the holiday and if he gets any pain, then some pills or a bottle of malt whisky should sort him out.

I know what he would prefer!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

The Job List is Loooooong!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret back again!

Sundays are for relaxing, snoozing and watching Old Two Legs working his butt off getting every job done before we go on holiday!

First and most important is to get us out for the morning walk and a look at the sunrise.

Only problem is, the sun had got up before we got to the Sea Shore.

Still, it's not bad for early September!

Another sun shiny day!

 Eric was in his element, he has discovered weasel sniffs in the long grass and spend time chasing about!

It was a weasel sniff but it disappeared!

Back home we headed for the bedroom and a snooze while OTL cleaned the cages and after a quick game of 'Chase the Ferret' he headed for the front of the house to wash the caravan and trim the vegetation that has it's roots in the neighbours garden but hangs over ours!

Well, that fills up one of the plastic bins!

It took a little while for OTL to get the plants, weeds and cat poo! It was amazing just how wider the front looked after OTL had gone into 'Destructive Mode' with shears,and other weapons of garden warfare!

Now, because it wasn't cold or wet, the next job was to give the caravan a good wash all over. We have a pressure washer which is great for blasting the spider out of the little nooks and crannies where they set up home!

Plus, OTL, a bucket and an old towel cut up to make a cleaning rag, he made a good job of it all.

Next job will be to check out all the inside and cupboards plus the gas and electric stuff. Then it will be ready for next week when we head off to Scotland for a couple of weeks!

Come lunchtime OTL was still slaving over a grubby caravan so The Missus took us out for a walk.

When we got to the Sea Shore we found a load of fishermen teaching worms to swim!

You know, Holly went from fisherman to fisherman looking for nibbles but because we were a little late so by the time we get there the fishermen had eaten all their sarnies!

That was it, no sarnie, no stroke!

Back home we headed for the kitchen for some nosh and found two bowls of Doggy Scoff, not the best meal we have had but by the time we get up to go to bed both bowls will be empty!

So that's it from us today.

Wonder what OTL has got for dinner?

Can we get a nibble?

Can we get a bigger nibble?

Bye for now.

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

Holly gets Shaved!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here!

Now, normally the weekends mean an extra half an hour snoozing in the morning but this week we were up an whole half an hour earlier!

Seems that The Missus wanted the car at seven to take up all her stuff to the village hall for this weeks Master Class!

One of the good things about getting up early is that we got to see the sun creep up over the horizon!

The first sunrise since before Spring started!

Here it is, the first sunrise of Autumn!

One of the good things was our new harnesses have light reflective bits and the sun lit them up a treat. Just wait until the Winter when it is dark and Old Two Legs is waving the torch around to find us, we will be lit up like a Christmas Tree!

Oops! That's the first mention of Christmas this year!

Being up so early, we spotted a few rabbits and of course Holly and I chased after them but to be honest, they spotted us and legged it before we could get close enough to grab their tails!

Once the ferret cages had been cleaned OTL started to get out all the hair cutting equipment! That was not good news!

I sneaked off and his under the office work surface while dopey Holly followed OTL around asking what he was doing!

I mean, just how daft can you be?

I heard OTL calling Holly into the bathroom and then the water and shampoo started to get sloshed about. Holly kept trying to get out of the shower but OTL kept turning her around so he could wash all her bits, including behind her ears!

Next came The Blaster!

This thing blows out warm air with force and the idea is that it blows the water off our hair.

Holly is not in love with this thing and if OTL puts it too close she snarls and shows her teeth to warn it away!

After that it was the electric clippers all over Holly. This time OTL started up at her head first 'cos clipping hair around her muzzle made her sit still and OTL was able to carefully clip around her ears and under her chin!

After that it was hair cutting all the way down to her tail. There was some wriggling but OTL took a break so Holly could have a dash about and work off a bit of steam!

So, in the end it didn't look too bad, but there is a little bit more trimming to do around her paws but that can wait until tomorrow or the day after.

So, our Holly chops now looks like this!  

Do I look good or wot!

OTL has got curry tonight, so, with a bit of luck we will get a bit of Naan bread dipped in the sauce, claws crossed!

See you tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret!

One Over on OTL!

Hello Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here again!

We can not say that today has been the most exciting day we have ever had but as far as a Friday goes, it's been quiet!

Old Two Legs didn't bother with the camera to day, mainly because he has had an arm full of Ferrets and two naughty woofers to manage!

Today Eric persuaded Miss May to come out for a morning walk but although she came out, she didn't do much walking, in fact she spent most of the time on the ground waiting for OTL to pick her up!

However, it was a breath of fresh air for her and of course there were the airborne sniffs to enjoy!

After yesterdays escape, as soon as we got anywhere near the sea, I was put on a lead!

Not fair!

Lunchtime was fun, Wendy and Monty came out and today they both insisted on climbing into the ferret bag and curling up right at the very bottom.

We were getting close to the Sea Shore when we spotted a couple of Female Two Legs pushing mobile chairs with Very Mini Two Legs strapped in!

'Excuse me' says one of these TL's, 'Have you seen a man with some ferrets?'

OTL was in a funny mood cos he says, 'Wot are Ferrets?'

These two TL's then went into 'Dopy Mode' trying to explain wot a ferret looks like.

Holly and I both sat down to watch this cos we reckon was going to play a joke on these two.

Well, the descriptions were an absolute hoot.

A ferret is a long smelly thing with teeth.

Yeah, we have seen snakes like that, try again.

A ferret looks like a cat but rolled up in a sausage.

Best thing for a cat and maybe a drop of brown sauce as well?

A Ferret looks like a hairy rat, but longer!

Wot you got against rats?

A Ferret goes down rabbit holes.

So does a rabbit!

Holly and I were almost exploding with suppressed laughter and thankfully it was then that OTL shoved his hand into the ferret bag and brought out Monty.

Does a ferret look like this he says?

Ooooh! squeaked the TL's, that's a ferret!

'Aha!' says OTL, 'In that case I got another one' and with that he pulls out Wendy!

By then Holly and I were rolling around on the floor laughing our tails off!

Next came the normal conversation, you know, 'Do they Bite, Smell, Kill, Rip your fingers off, how long do they live and wot do you feed them on?

One day OTL is going to say 'Baby TL's!'

Back home there was a bowl of chicken waiting for us and after a snooze I decided I fancied a walk. Now normally the afternoon is left for OTL to get on with his work but seeing as it is Friday I decided we could have some fun and get another walk over the fields!

So, when there was a break in paper filing and computer plonking I jumped up onto OTL's lap and cuddled up to him. There was no way  he was going to be able to work, so, he puts down the paper and puts the computer on 'pause' while we have a cuddle.

Then I start whimpering ever so slightly, just enough so that OTL asks what I want.

Easy!

I jump down and run to the office door and do my 'IwannaweeandapooratherquicklyorelsIwillcopytheferretsanddoitonthekitchenfloor' act.

That was it, OTL knows that message and off we go.

I did a couple of wee's and so did Holly, but to be honest, I've done more down the back of the garden before going to bed!

It's nice to get one over on the old duffer!

See you tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret!

Hard Hats? Wot Hard Hats!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy,Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here!

Well, it has been a funny day today, well for us anyway!

When we went out this morning it was rather mild, no rain and the grass was dry as well!

No Soggy Bottoms!

Mind you, Eric did blag a lift in the bag all the way down to the Sea Wall!

......are we there yet?

Holly showed herself up again, while we were walking along the middle path, those two Hairy Arsed Husky Woofers came bounding along the top path to meet us just where the two paths meet.

I was off like a streak of light 'cos I don't do big woofers.

Not Miss Tartus Maximus Holly Chops!

She hangs about until they are almost on top of her, then she does a quick turn, runs around the Two Legs who was hanging onto the lead and shoots off towards Old Two Legs!

Can't catch me Bozo's!

That wasn't all, as she came down the path, there, waiting in the middle of the path was that Big Bozo Bert!

Holly was stuck and couldn't get past so, just as she skidded to a halt in front of Bert, he gently leans forward and plants a kiss on her nose!

Oi! I said, No Tongues!

That was it, off went Bert to say hello to OTL. That Bert had the biggest grin I have ever seen on a woofer and his tail was straight up like a ships mast!

Lunchtime Wendy and Monty came out with us and both blagged a lift in the bag all the way down to the sea shore. It was at that moment all my self control went up in smoke, I dashed down the beach, had a 'Deep Paddle' in the sea then rolled on my back on the sandy beach!

OTL was not happy about it but I didn't care!

You know, I could do this all the way back as well!

Both ferrets had fun sniffing all the way back to the car. Monty was getting all big and brave, he found several holes where the rabbits had started to dig a hole.

Monty took a deep breath and shouted down into the hole trying to scare a Nargle into making a run for it!

Oi! Nargle Chops, Where are you?

Now, Archie Babe, wot's all this 'Sore Paw' thing? We thought you were a Big Brave, Bold Doodle Dog. How on earth have you twisted your leg? You really must be more careful when you are chasing those Foxes!

Hey, hear is another thing. We had an email this morning from Rocky's mum asking us where our Hard Hats were! All just 'cos our new harnesses were a little 'Bright'!

Well, when I next go up in the loft, I'll have a look for OTL's hard hat and show you what a big bold woofer looks like with a hard hat!

Now, you know how tight OTL is? Well, today he had to take the big car in to have a new Fog Lamp Bulb put into the rear of the car. In goes OTL expecting a new bulb and a bill for about Ten Bob.

No chance!

In goes the car and out comes the Service Manager and says, 'Sorry, the bulb holder is corroded and we can't repair it, you will have to have a complete unit and that will cost £250.00!

Poor OTL, they had to get the First Aider to come out to OTL cos he had a panic attack! His wallet went into contractions!

OTL is not a Happy Puppy!

The weekend is almost here and the caravan has to be cleaned, the next door neighbours plants need to be cut back and the ferrets have to have their anti flea stuff on their necks!

Mind you, Holly and I have to have our anti tick stuff on Monday!

OK, we are off now, I can hear the pots and pans being rattled, so that means nibbles!

Bye for now!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy,Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here!

Pass along the Life Jackets!

Hi Woofers!

It's Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret here again!

Well, Autumn has arrived, we have seen some dead leaves that have fallen from the trees and the rain has been washing everything today, us included!

We started out first thing with just our harnesses on but when we got to the football field car park it was wetter than when we started out, so, out comes the rain coats and off we went for a quick wee and back home!

Lunchtime wasn't as bad, just a steady drizzle of water and as the rain coats were still wet, Old Two Legs made us wear our new harnesses.

Now, don't get me wrong, these are super harnesses and they have a special handle on the back so OTL can pick us up and left us into the car, it saves us jumping in and out.

There is however a small, tiny, little problem.

We sort of stand out a bit!

Why don't we see as many mouses as before, do you thing we are easy to see?

Well, we stand out a bit more than a bit.

We stick out like a Sore Boil on a Baboon's Butt!

Am I fading into the grass?

Holly reckons it is dangerous walking along the Sea Wall 'cos some one is bound to mistake us for a Life Raft or a Life Jacket and call out the Lifeboat!

As if I would go anywhere near that horrid wet stuff!

Mind you, it does keep the rain drops off our shoulders but our legs still get wet! one good thing is,  when we get home there is always a nice warm Doggy Towel to dry us off!

I think that we have rain for the next few days. OTL says the weather is getting ready for when we go on holiday. We won't bother trying to get a tan, we'll just get rusty instead!

See you tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret.

OTL get's his Roots Pulled!

Hi Woofers!

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret back again!

It has been a fun day, well almost!

First thing this morning we were out with Old Two Legs and Eric for our walk along the Sea Wall. It looked like it may rain so just to be sure, OTL left the camera at home!

Luck was on our side 'cos the rain held off, even though the clouds were dark and full of rain!

Now today is OTL's second visit to the dentist to get his canal sorted!

He is not a happy puppy!

When he has any drilling done on his teeth the dentist gives him an injection that numbs his tooth, well, that's the plan but OTL is such a wimp!

He reckons that the anaesthetic doesn't fully work until he is out of the dentist and half way down the road heading towards the car!

While he was out being tortured, The Missus took us out for our midday walk. Holly was up to her normal tricks, walking across the football field came a big German Shepherd, all slobbering and very interested in Holly.

There was Holly, waggling her tail and playing The Tart!

One day she is going to get into real trouble!

When we got back, OTL had just got home as well. I could sniff the big car as we turned into our road. When we got out there was OTL's sniff all the way down to the front door!

We have got super sensitive noses so there is no way OTL was going to hide from us!

We have got chicken today, so we are off for some nosh!

See you tomorrow!

Luv,

Daisy, Holly, Miss May, Miss Wendy, Eric de Ferret and Monty de Ferret!